In 2009-2010 we lived in Beaverton, OR. I soon became aware that I was living in a place with people with active lives. They ran, walked, or biked wherever they went. In downtown Portland the lanes for the bicycles are almost as big as the lanes for the cars. And you better watch out if you are driving because you are usually going to look over and see bikers or runners right next to your car. This was inspiring to me. I had never thought about running as something that you enjoy but I figured that if these people were doing it there had to be something about it they enjoyed. I would drive by the Nike campus on my way to the grocery store and watch the women my age running as if floating on air. It was mesmerizing. Being pregnant with my third baby at the time, I continued my workouts on the elliptical at my house with the dream that I wanted to run after I had the baby.

I remember going on a few run/walks down the sidewalks in my enchanting neighborhood before we loaded up a moving truck and moved back where running is something you do when a cop is chasing you, the Ozarks. Springfield is home for me now after living here off and on for almost 10 years. In Portland I felt motivated, encouraged, almost obligated to be active and eat well. Springfield, Missouri just doesn’t do that for me until now. I have lots of friends that run. I have several friends that have run marathons in the last year that have inspired me. But that isn’t why I run now.

 I run because it’s cheap therapy. I run because the feeling of being lighter than air is worth fighting for. I run because when the wind it pushing me back, I push even harder and in that moment I feel like I can do anything! Running is empowering and no other activity or exercise I have ever done has made me feel that way. I’m pretty sure I don’t always do it right and at times it truly is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But, I know that  if I push a little harder, go another 10 steps, run to the next mailbox or light post, that it will be worth it. Running often reminds me of how God fights for us. He never gives up but keeps going. He goes the distance.

Happy Anniversary! I’ve been a vegetarian now for a whole year. I get asked a lot of questions about being a vegetarian. The most popular comment that turns into a questions is, “Why would you want to do that?” and usually their nose is all wringled up and their head in turned in complete shock. As if not eating meat is some sort of “coming out of the closet” effect. I’m choosing to not eat an animal kinda like how sometimes you choose to not eat sugar or at times you choose to not eat vegetables! So, to all the questioning furry eyebrows I’ll give you some answers!

How do you get protein? 

It’s actually a lot easier than you’d think. Although I started out this journey totally ignorant as to how protein works in your body I can now tell you with all honestly that I probably get more protein in my day than you do in yours eating meat. A typical taco for me is black beans, spinach leaves, whole wheat wrap (has added protein & low calories) a little cheddar cheese, plain Greek yogurt in place of sour cream and you’ve got one taco with a whooping 28 g. of protein! And that is for only ONE! Here is a great place for some recipes!

 Do you crave meat? 

I sometimes crave chicken but never beef. When I watched Food Inc. that cured my not so longing desire for beef ever again. I do eat salmon from time to time but that’s about all the “meat” I get.

How do you eat tofu? 

I don’t. I rarely eat tofu. I honestly don’t like the stuff. If I don’t like it, I’m not going to eat it. I have figured out ways to take any recipe you throw my way and make it vegetarian by substituting meaty vegetables like squash, zucchini, eggplant and legumes. I love to add kale to soup. It is hearty, holds up without getting mushy, and packed full of vitamins! Spaghetti sauce with zucchini is probably one of my favorites. Lasagna done the same is one of my husband’s (NOT a vegetarian) favorites.

 Why are you a vegetarian?

People just simply don’t understand why someone would choose to be a vegetarian. Well, I can only speak for myself but I’ll tell you why. I feel better. I look better. I eat better. And I enjoy the flavor of my food better. When you add black beans to a taco the flavor is heightened by all the other ingredients. I don’t just taste meat, I taste every complimentary ingredient in my mouth. The main reason, I feel better without all the extra hormones, preservatives, and additives that are found in meat. I believe, in my opinion, that limiting meat intake is much healthier. I’m not saying go vegetarian but limiting meat to 3 times a week could make a HUGE difference in your health present and future.

So, there you have it. Questions answered from one vegetarian out of the millions across this world. If you want to find out more or just explore new recipes the Vegetarian Times Starter Kit is a great way to do that.

Here’s to eating healthy with or without a side of meat!

Mr. Popper’s Penguins has always been on of my favorite books. I honestly don’t remember much of the book but I remember the memory that was made while reading the book. I think I was in the 3rd grade. We had a book assignment to read the book and then do a book report on it. Just a few short days before the book report was due I ended up sick with, I think, strep throat. I remember being very concerned about this book report and getting it done. I hadn’t yet finished the book but with being so sick, it had become very difficult to stay awake to read. The next part I remember very well and if I close my eyes I can see the entire scenerio playing out in my mind’s eye. I was laying on the couch in my pajama’s all snuggled in a blanket. I had my head resting on my Mom’s lap as she gently stroked my hair and read the story of Mr. Popper’s Penguins to me that night. It was a sweet memory that my Mom made with me in that moment and one that even as an almost 32 year old adult, I remember with warm fuzzy feelings of comfort.

With the New Year of 2012 finally reaching out for us, I find myself thinking about my goals, resolutions, and things I would really like to grow in in 2012. I’m a firm believer in growth and love to read new books or watch new documentaries to encourage growth in my personal life. I could spent an entire blog post on this being my goal and what kinds of growth I’d like to see. But, I have a bigger much more important goal in mind. It’s my #1 goal and one that I strive to make the most of with each year that passes: Making Memories.

I love memories. I remember the smell of a clean house as I would walk into my house after school. Freshly baked cookies coming out of the oven. I remember the feeling I got when my Dad would lean over at a stop light and kiss my Mom on the lips. I remember Christmas at my Grandma’s house and how very special she made each of us feel. I remember when Grace was born and in that moment I felt the longing to make the memories count for her. Now with three little girls in tow, the responsibility is great. As exhausting as three kids all six years old and under are, the giggles and dreams that float around my house are memories that I grab ahold of tightly and tuck away in a special place in my mind. Because one day, when the three girls are off accomplishing the fine art of being woman….. I will sit on New Year’s Eve and open up that special place in my mind, drink a cup of hot tea, and remember the many wonderful memories we were intentional about making.

What are some of your favorite memories of 2011?

Favorite 2011 memory was trying to fit 3 kids in the back of a Ford Taurus until we bought our family mini van. I’m not ashamed. I love my mini van!

Photo taken by Bryan Thompson 2008 "Grace's Snowtoddler"

I can’t prove it but somehow I just that we all long for something or someone to believe it. Whether that be God or not, we all have a belief in something. What always gets me this time of the year is the whole debate on whether to tell your kids that Santa is real or not. As if believing in Santa is somehow taking away from the true meaning of why we celebrate Christmas, Jesus’ birth. For some reason, I’ve never really gotten this argument.

We have and always will talk about Santa as a fun fairy tale figure that we like to get our picture taken with. My oldest is now old enough to write out her own Christmas list. But, when she came home from school just a few days ago I was not prepared for the question that came out of her mouth,

“Mom, a girl at school said Santa wasn’t real. Is that true?”

I quickly thought about everything I had ever told her about Santa. Never once had I said Santa was real. I said St. Nicholas is real and that the story of him giving gifts is real and that he was just one example of God ultimate gift to us, which is Jesus Christ. This is our belief and so we have always merrily said, “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas” with a balance of knowing exactly why we celebrate Christmas. It’s all for Jesus even Santa is just our human example of what we should be doing at Christmas, giving.

After I explained all of this to Grace and ended with a final, “No, Santa is not real in the way that he delivers presents by flying reindeer. Much like watching Cinderella, that is all just pretend and just for fun.” She simply looks at me and says, “I like that Santa shows the love of Jesus by giving. But, is it okay that I still choose to believe?”

Yes, believe. That is what belief if all about. Choosing to have faith in something we can not see but believe its there. For my little girl, belief in Santa is her way of tangibly having faith in Christ. So, we choose to believe.

I sat on my couch the other night watching, “Parenthood” with tears streaming down my face. The main story of the episode tonight was about Haddie who had to watch her brother who has Aspergers. Max was upset that his parents ended up having to work on the day they had told him they would take him to the museum. They put Haddie in charge of her brother. Max ended up trying to go to the museum on his own which sent his sister and parents into a frenzy of worry. To make the long story short the police found Max and he was brought home safely. It was the next scenario that sent me into tears.

Haddie was very upset about Max not having much emotion about running away and about the fact that he made her worry. She yelled at him and then instantly felt bad about it. As she sad on her bed with her Dad he said to her, “It’s going to be okay.” She then begin to cry and said, “It’s okay but it’s not. It just sucks.” To the average person watching this episode they probably thought Haddie was talking about the situation of Max running away. But, I saw her heart and knew it well. I understand exactly what she meant.

Growing up with a sister with down syndrome I fully know what it feels like to be the caregiver of your sibling. I fully know that “It’s okay but it’s not.” I love my sister so much that it hurts but there is always apart of me that grieves for us. We are sisters. She is 2 years younger than me and at this point in our lives we should be calling each other sharing about the terrors of our toddlers. Laughing over the funny antics that our children are saying. At this point in our lives we should be meeting at Starbucks to talk about how much our husbands annoy us. But, we were robbed of those events in our lives. She was robbed of her dreams coming true and I was robbed of a sister to do life with. “It’s okay but it’s not. It just sucks.”

Apart of me feels guilty about voicing the fact that I wish my sister was different because in the same regard I’m so glad she is exactly how she is. Jenni has made me a better person. She taught me empathy. She taught me purity. She taught me compassion. She  has taught me to never fully grow up. Each year she writes out her Christmas list in childlike handwriting and although she fully knows WHO Santa really is, she loves to pretend and imagine. Jenni is a great aunt. My girls loves her so much. They never see her differences only that she loves them. Yeah…..it really is okay.

Love.

We throw this word around for everything. “I LOVE the pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks!” “Did you see that movie? I just loved it!” As a society we’ve taken a deep and meaningful word only to cut it down to fit our selfish needs and wants. Just about every week I get the opportunity to sit across from couple after couple to hear their thoughts, feelings, and miscommunicated words to one another. I have heard a common thread between almost every couple I’ve counseled with.

I just don’t feel love any more.

Only the feelings of love is something that society gets in our brains at such a young age. It all begins with the popular ending to your favorite fairy tale, “And they lived happily ever after…” The picture of Cinderella and her Prince Charming on the last page of the book smiling, looking deeply into each other eyes get into our subconscious that will later wreck havoc on our love lives.

I remember the first time I didn’t FEEL love for my husband. It was 2005 and he had lost his job just a few short weeks before the birth of our first daughter. I tried to be supportive but his attitude of wallowing in self pity began to become a mountain of bitterness. After an outing with my new little family, we came home to an apartment without electricity. I thought something was terribly wrong only to find out that my husband in a sleepless state had forgotten to pay our already late utility bill. Under normal circumstances, I probably wouldn’t have been so upset. But, this mishap totally wrecked any love and confidence that I had left in me for that Knight in shining armor that I had married. It took another six months before I could look at my husband again with confidence in feeling love for him.

If I had listened to what society tells me, if I had given in to the human nature of wanting to escape the trouble of working on a seemingly devastated marraige, I would have filed for divorce and been on my way. There was something inside of me that just didn’t want to quit though. So, I made a decision one morning in my pity party prayers to God that I would begin praying for my husband because let’s face it, he needed to change! I started out praying for him because I was bitter towards him. As I opened my mouth that was full of his name, day after day in my prayers my heart began to change. My soul began to become soft and God was able to change me!

There came a day when I would look across the dinner table and see the man that I loved and not just the man that I married. There came a day when I learned a very important lesson. Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice.

1 Corinthaians 13:3-7 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Bryan is my best friend and the love of my life both in feeling and choice. I’m so glad I never gave up on him but more than that I’m so glad I never gave up on prayer. Celebrating 10 years of marriage in March and God deserves the accolades.

I am around Moms with young children all the time. We laugh, smile, and then gently bring our coffee up to our lips and although no one else hears us, we say, “Ahhhhh……” We are all tired, exhausted, worn out and just simply sleep deprived. Nevermind that we LOVE being a Mom, yada, yada, yada. Of course we do but according to Marcus Buckingham in his book Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women do Differently, having children makes us less happy. He gives 10 myths about the lives of women.

Myth #7

Having children makes women happier. Not Necessarily. It turns out that kids are a bundle of stress. All studies linking stress and satisfaction with motherhood reveal the same finding: married mothers are always more stressed and less happy than married women with no kids. (I know, you love your kids, but this finding has been repeated so many times, in so many countries, there’s no escaping it.)

I’m real about Motherhood.  There’s no escaping that my life is much more stressful compared to married women without children. Duh, Marcus. One of the key elements of stress is the lack of sleep. We all want more. Here are a few problems and solutions that I have found to work with my kids. I hope that you find something that will work for you as well.

1) “My child wakes up at the SAME time every night!” I’ve dealt with this with each one of my kids. 4:50 a.m. Noel wakes up. How they get in this habit of waking up, only Scientist know. But, I do know how to fix it. The method is called “Wake to Sleep”. It sounds odd but it works like a charm. The first night, one hour before the child would normally wake up, you go in and rearrange their blanket, take paci out & put it back in, or something that makes them kinda stir a bit. Don’t wake them up fully, but you want them to just stir. Then go back to bed. Do this for 3 nights in a row, 1 hour before they are in a habit of wake up. By the 4th night they will sleep through. This resets their REM cycles!

2) “When I put her to bed, she takes forever to go to sleep!” I’m a firm believer in bedtime routines. Kids love consistency because they find security in it. When a child feels secure, sleep is sweet. Establish a bedtime routine that you do almost every night. Bath, read story, say a prayer, get a drink of water, sing a song, lights out. Something like that. Now, here is a secret I figured out with my first child. Children aren’t like us. If they stay up late, they sleep in later. No, they can be trained that way, but it doesn’t come naturally for them. Children up to around 4 yrs. need about 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period of time. For a child 5 and under, bedtimes need to be between7:30-8:30. If you go any later than that, you will find that you have an overly tired toddler on your hands and the impossible fight of sleep will quickly follow. There is a window between tired and overly tired. Once you pass over into overly tired you are in for a long time. They will take forever to go to sleep and then, most likely, wake up all through the night.

3) “How do I combine two naps into one?” This is a tough one because each child is different in what age they need to start take just one long nap a day instead of two. When you do it, it up to you, but usually around 15-18 months old you’ll notice their two naps are becoming shorter. The easiest way I’ve always found to do this is to extend the first morning nap 15 minutes every 3 days. So, if they usually go down for the first nap around 10 a.m. then push it to 10:15. Three days later push it to 10:30. Three days later push it to 10:45. This can take up to about 2 weeks. The goal is to feed them lunch around noon. Naptime between 12:30-1:30 each day. This is great because once you get this going you have your mornings to be able to really get things done without naps getting in the way.

I don’t pretend to be an expert, just a mom of three that has learned a thing or two or three. Hope something that I’ve said helps you! Leave a comment about what has worked for you and maybe you will be helping another mom!

Happy sleep!

I’m a survivor. Yes, it’s true. I have survived one child turning 2 and then the dreadful 3′s. She is now 6 1/2 and a great kid in personality and behaviorally. Currently I find myself smack dab in one of the most challenging phases of parenthood thus far. I have a 3 (almost 4) year old and a 20 month old (almost 2). So, for the sake of this blog just just say that Hope is 4 and Noel is 2. Because let’s face it, they are sure acting like it! Maybe that means they are more mature for their age. HA!

My second daughter, Hope, apparently has a lot to complain about in her life. There are some days that she wakes up and NOTHING and I do mean nothing in her world is right. She complains, whines, and then will proceed to throw her body around on the floor in complaints. I’ve ignored this for awhile but enough is enough.

Then I have the youngest of the 3, little Noel. She is my little pre-vascetomy surprise. The Saturday before my husband was to go in for his “procedure” out of pure curiosity I took a pregnancy test. I had felt like I had the flu for well over a week  and on top of that I was late. I need not have to explain this. So, I pee’d on the stick and went back to bed. I didn’t even look at it as I was NOT expecting to be pregnant. Boy, was I shocked when I came in the bathroom later to brush my teeth! SHOCK. AWE. HORROR. And now those pink double lines is a full fledged almost 2 year old! She will dare you to tell her, “No” because then she will give you the show of your life. Out of all three of my kids, Noel is the best at pitching a fit. I’m talking Hollywood movie style fits!

Is it just me or does it seems that when the clock turns 4:00 p.m. something happens and the kids turn into little crazy people. You know I’m right!

Here’s a scenerio:

She points to the box of cereal and grunts, “ugh, ugh! snack!”

I’m in the middle of fixing dinner and say, “No, Noel we are getting ready to have dinner.”

She doesn’t hear or understand whatever came after the word “No” all she knows is that she heard it.

Her shoulders shrink, her face bunches up, and she lets out the ever impressive cry. “Whahhhhhhhhhhhh,” which is combines with her entire body being thrown down by some invisible force as she moves right into the ever impressive beating her arms on the floor, throwing her body in countless crazy positions. All while the other two are fighting over which “Squinkie” is theirs and the dog won’t stop barking!

Oh the noise. Oh the humanity! I can’t think. I can’t fix dinner. At this point I feel powerless and want to run away. The house is a wreck. And all I want to do is be able to give my husband a smile when he walks in the door but let’s just be honest, I feel like crap at this very moment! Now I just want my husband to come home so that I can get dinner done and the kids to B. E. D.

As a mom of three kids I’ve learned a thing or two and so I thought that I might share a few with you! Surviving the house of “make it or break it” with preschoolers and toddlers!

1) Establish a “Thinking” corner, chair, or area of your house. Set the boundary by a chair, small blanket, or even placemat. Set a timer for the amount of time that child needs to “think” of his/her attitude and actions.  Our house is a no complaining zone. We can discuss things but there is no complaining! It’s an automatic trip to time out! As are tantrums from Princess Noel.

2) At 4:00, turn the music up and tell the kids its “Clean to the music” time! Give them each a rag and a job. Even my youngest loves to wipe down stuff. This gives you a chance to vacuum and start dinner.

3) If/When the toddler starts getting wrestles during dinner prep, put him/her in the highchair. You can either give cereal to munch on, flour to just play with, measuring cups and spoon to make noise with, etc.

4) Use action words in discipling. “How should you have handled that differently?” “What would have been a better thing to say?” “Next time what is your plan in make a better choice?”

5) Catch your kids being good!

The last one is not only for your kids but for you! It can become to mundan day after day of caring for the kids that you get into a routine of noticing all the things about your kids that you don’t really like. They can cloud all the other things that our kids do right. Being a mom isn’t fun all the time. No need to apologize or feel guilty for it! Just like you, your kids have “off” days too where all they really need is a hug between those tantrums.

My husband and I started watching one of the new shows on this year entitled, Last Man Standing. Tim Allen plays the dad of not 1, not 2, but 3 girls. Obviously having 3 girls this show struck a familiar cord with us. As I watched this show the more and more I became uncomfortable. I was shocked at the way the two teenage girls spoke to their parents and at the fact that the oldest daughter already has a kid.

The statistics are truly staggering in my opinion for teen pregnancy. The fact that 1 in every 3 girls will be sexual molested by the age of 18 makes me want to throw up. I could go on and on with the morbid reality of the world that we live in. The world that I am raising my children in.

There’s hope. I don’t say that like some sort of Christianese catch phrase that makes me holier than thou. I say that because I believe it. My oldest is only 6 1/2 years old but I believe there is hope to raise all three of my girls with respect for their parents and for themselves. I believe in protecting their minds in ways now that will only encourage a depth of knowledge in their minds later.

When I am in the car we only listen to uplifting music. Music that I wouldn’t mind my 3 year old belting out at the top of her lungs in front of her grandparents. Music that speaks to their inner self and gives them a message of self confident and self worth. I put boundaries around what my kids watch. “Bieber fever” isn’t even a phrase my girls know. They still drink milk with their dinner and they are in bed every night by 7. I’m on a mission to let my girls be uniquely them and for me to get out of my comfort zone in seeing that. Not being prideful that I automatically know them because I gave birth to them, but to stop at every chance I get to watch them blossom.

My goals as a parent. (Goals. Doesn’t mean I get them right)

~ Walk your spiritual journey where they can see it. (struggles & all)
~ Guard the hearts, minds, eyes, & souls of your girls.
~ Instead of just saying, “I love you” tell them WHY you love them.
~ Say positive things in front of them when other people are around.
~ Don’t put labels on them.
~ Accept them for who they are as a person.
~ Identify their strengths and don’t major on their weaknesses.
~ Let your home be the safest place in their world.
~ Allow time at the end of each day for them to just talk about what THEY want to talk about.
~ Cultive a healthy marriage. It’s one of the greatest gifts to a child.

Pray. That probably should have been at the top. I can’t write this blog and not reference a talk seres that Pastor Tommy Sparger just did called, “Modern Family”. The first one was about parenting and I found it to be really good. Take a LOOK!

Today is one of those rare days that I have absolutely nothing on my to-do list except for the things that I actually want on there. Life has been so busy lately that I’ve become accustom to going until my head spins. It is nice to have a day to reflect…..

@DaveRamsey: Setting a goal doesn’t guarantee success; it just gives you a target. You still have to work your tail off to hit it.

I had to smile when I read this tweet today. Dave Ramsey is assuredly referring to getting out of debt but in my life it means a lot of other things. I heard a comment from someone that said, “I’ll have time to rest when I’m dead.” Thinking about these comments makes me examine my priorities. What are the things that I will gladly spend most of my time doing and what are the things that I HAVE to spend most of my time doing. We can say our families comes first but let’s admit that we have less time together as a family than we do with the people we work with.

My parents always taught me the importance of family. Family comes first and they always made sure they lived it. Every Friday night we had “family night” where my dad would order pizza and rent some movie. We’d lay around the living room in our pj’s, eat pizza, and watch some John Wayne movie. Okay, it wasn’t always a John Wayne movie but I do remember quite a few of them! As a 16 year old teenager the LAST thing I wanted to do was spend a Friday night with my PARENTS! Now, I get it.

Success does take you working your tail off but it is naming what that “success” is for you that becomes the challenge. In Revolutionary Parenting by Georgia Barna he talks about the things that parents want for their children and far too often being a “spiritual champion” hits the list too far at the bottom if not at all. Our children are fearfully and wonderfully made by God himself. He sees their unique gifting of being so stubborn that they REFUSE to eat that cucumber as a strength in belief. It’s all in perspective.

Today I’m reflecting on what is important and the things that maybe aren’t as important. And I gotta tell you, my uniquely made children are at the top of my list both in heart and head. Their spiritual journey is moving to the top of my list. Instead of letting other things get in our way, we will hold Thursday evening as family nights. Because Friday night is date night, whether going out or staying in, with my husband around here. I’m not giving that up!